.... OK, so the hiking bug was biting me something fierce while I was at work, so I had to satisfy this rigid compulsion immediately upon leaving my place of employment. I set off into the foothills yet again, picking berries and taking a few wildlife pics (which I will post when my computer stops being an evil bastard).. was wandering through an unmown field, came upon a large boulder jutting about a foot out of the earth in the middle. So I sat down on it for a little while, laid down to stare at the sky, and fell asleep. I woke up to a rustling noise, like footsteps crunching the grass near my head. I opened my eyes to a grey dusky sky with tinges of pink... and nearly leaped out of my skin as I beheld a huge male deer with what looked like an 8-point rack... grazing about five feet to the right of my head. This is not what one expects to see when they open their eyes, clearing the mental fogginess after a long nap. He jumped back and reared a little as I screamed like a lunatic and jumped to my feet, grabbing my walking stick... almost taking a swing at him, but my mind had returned at that point and I thought better of it. He stared at me in surprise for a few seconds, then let out a loud scuffled snort as he whipped around and jumped off through the open field into the underbrush, with his white tail waving wildly in the air, and almost with an heir of indignant irritation. I'm thinking I was far more surprised than he was. My hands may have finally stopped shaking, lol.
On a lighter note: Here's a warm shout-out to my parents and the people in their ex-gay "conversion" support group who think that they are secretly reading this blog in hopes of finding points of entry for "ministering" to me. In cordial response, I must say that it is hardly necessary... I am already being ministered to by the right sort of people for once. It is a bit ironic, almost bittersweet that I still pray for you the way that you likely pray for me: with the hope that your eyes will be opened some day. Please stop buying the lie before it's too late to repair any of this.
4 comments:
Hugs to you about your dear friend in the hospice. Also, there are some great groups like Soulforce, which I am sure you are aware of, who believe differently than the fundamentalists. You are not alone, and deep in your heart, you know God would want you to be you, period. God does not create us one way and then want us to change. There is no changing needed. If you ever need to talk, email me/comment anywhere on my site.
I had nothing and came from attempted suicide to be blessed with a loving family, a child, a faithful partner and enough resources to provide for them. I say that not to sound pat, but because it is the cornerstone of my blog/my life. All I did to go from nothing to everything was accept myself as God made me, accept what God gives me and be true to myself and those around me.
We need not change who we are to find God's love and acceptance. Peace be with you and contact me anytime you want someone to talk with.
May all of your lurkers come into a place of greater understanding, grrace and light.
I am so sorry to hear of your troubles with your family and with your ex in hospice. I too believe that God only wants us to be who we truly are and are meant to be. I hope your family can one day come to love you for who you are.
and that's so neat about the deer!
Thanks a million for the words of encouragement guys. Regardless of how my parents progress (or regress) in the years to come. I will go on to enjoy my life and pursue fulfillment with or without their support. They may come around some day, but I am fully prepared to accept the fact that they may not.
Glad to see that you all are still active in the blog community too :)
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