Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Revisiting A Bully

While rereading and ruminating about this post, I recalled a wonderful, healing experience that happened a couple months ago.

I was working my usual shift and a well-kept man about my age came in and circulated around in my department... eyeballing me curiously. He approached me and asked me for assistance. After talking to him for a couple minutes and giving him the answers he was after, he asked me if my name was (real name). He then asked if I recognized him at all. I did not. As it turns out, he was one of the bullies I mentioned previously. He said, "I've been wanting to tell you how sorry I am for the way I treated you back in school. It was wrong of me...."

We had been pre-teens in a backwards country school with terrible administrators who did very little about problem behaviors at the time. Bullying complaints were not taken seriously, even those involving damage to property & physical harm. It was all chocked up to "kids being kids."
Regardless of the his abusive tendencies (learned behavior from home) I still remembered him often since those years and worried about what might have happened to him as a result of the bad influences in his life. He was an intelligent kid, but also one who unknowingly wore his damage where everyone could see it; an angry little boy, sickly on many levels and it was easy to tell that some nasty things were happening to him outside of school.

I told him that I understood why he had been like that and he was forgiven. The guy has seen some horrors in his lifetime yet he still turned out OK!
This whole experience blindsided me in the best possible way, leaving me glowing and teary-eyed. The kid came to terms with it all and became a better man! Moments like these are what I need to hold onto, keeping alive my faith in the future and a positive direction for our species.

Yet again I come full circle in some fashion. No matter how many times you go around before, the experience always changes; bringing something newer and better than the last time. Giving up on healing past hurts does not mean that life no longer wants you to have the cure for them. The sardonic realist side of my personality used to whisper in my ear that this stuff only happens in movies, never in every-day life. The cynicism is still there, but it gets quieter and less prominent as time passes. Forgiveness takes on new depth in my life, but there is still more to forgive, I'm working on it. Remember that sometimes when you give up seeking the answer, the answer seeks you out and dumps itself in your lap.

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

Clowny Clown Clown!!!

Ummm, I'm not going to try to explain this video or make any excuses for it because I just can't! If you have any taste for absurdity or abstractism, it will probably hurt your mind but make you want to go back and watch it at least once more. (Or it might make you close the browser window and curl up on the floor in the fetal position.) I am not responsible for any effect this may have on your mental health.

I was told that the dapper gentleman in this video is Crispin Glover in his early days of acting, when he was making forays into the world of abstract art films and whatnot.

Tuesday, July 08, 2008

Nonsequitur = Idiot, Part 2 (possibly more of one than you originally thought)

Here are a few pictures of one of my parents' visitors; no zoom on the lense, I was literally five feet away. No, I was not terribly concerned. Yes, I had good running shoes on in case he did not enjoy having his portrait taken.

I believe this is the one my parents call "Boscoe." He is a bit larger than a great dane (and weighs in at a good three hundred pounds I'd guess).

He also has his own food bowl. I and other family members/friends have advised my parents that it is a very bad idea to get them used to being in proximity to humans, especially by teaching them to associate our species with food. I pray that this does not become an issue.

A hopeful sign: even though he allowed me to get really close to him, he still showed apprehension and flight tendencies whenever I made any sudden movements or approached too quickly. This indicates that he is still at least somewhat scared of humans, but if he was really hungry and a human was carrying food that smelled appetizing, who can really tell what would happen?

A snapping turtle (a bit larger than a soccer ball) I saw crossing the road not far from my house. Again, I did not use the zoom on this picture either. I've photographed other snappers before but they were quite agitated and never allowed me to get this close. He seemed very relaxed and indifferent to my presence....

...even when the camera lense was only twenty inches from his face.

I grew up around lots of wildlife and while I appreciate their beauty and their role in the ecosystem, there is also a healthy respect for the damage they are capable of. I don't advise getting this close to either of these creatures unless you are quite familiar with their body language, sometimes even that is no guarantee of safety (as many self-styled nature photographers with big scars could tell you).

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

Nonsequitur = Idiot

A couple months ago I bought a nice, big, brand-new chainsaw because there were a bunch of trees planted in bad places around my property (threatening to fall on the house, all over the leech field, too close together in haphazard rows). I jumped the chain last week due to improper tension and after an hour or so of filing & reconditioning the drive teeth I got it put back together and it seemed to be running normally; except it was not cutting very well at all. All it would do was slowly cut a groove in the wood and start smoking like mad. I tried everything I knew: lubricating all moving parts, sharpening the teeth repeatedly, repositioning the bar, adjusting the tension, etc... all to no avail. After two days of troubleshooting I got disgusted with it and tossed it in the shed with the intention of taking it to a specialist who works on them. I dug it back out the other day with the intention of taking it to the specialist but I decided attempt troubleshooting once more. It was still doing the same thing no matter what I did and as I exasperatedly shut off the engine I noticed something odd about the chain as it came to a stop... I had put it on backwards. Why don't I ever check the most obvious things first??!!