Friday, June 09, 2006

Mystery Solved, Small Town Familiarity, Bi-Guys...

I related the story of the slightly unsettling encounter with "Do I know you?" guy to a friend of mine who knows a lot of people in town and is familiar with the scene. Much to my relief, he knew who the young man was.... a married, bi-guy who frequently cruises other men using his "do I know you?" act. Well I'm not into the whole cruising thingy, but at least I know who he is now and I am reassured that he didn't really know me... he's just a harmless, horny young man who was looking for some action.

I live in one of those typical, rednecked, small-town environments where everyone knows everyone. According to some of my friends, I am well-recognized throughout much of this area because I work in a job that deals heavily with the public and I am one of just a handful of uncloseted gay men in this town. It is paradoxically comforting and perturbing at the same time. I rarely get harassed for my orientation, but I can't even count the amount of "straight" men who have walked up to me and flirted in an odd, hushed fashion because I guess that they assume that I will automatically take the bait or give them a piece just because I happen to be gay. I understand their position and I completely identify with where they are coming from, but I am not a pleasure-appliance and I prefer to save myself for something meaningful.

I just hope that society will one day evolve into a healthier state where guys like these won't be forced into marriage and afterwards feel the need to seek out secret, same-sex liaisons as a temporary escape. At the risk of sounding sanctimonious, cheating is cheating, regardless of the reasons
. Many families are ripped apart because of infidelity. I know first-hand how much it hurts to have a partner be unfaithful and I refuse to contribute to someone else's misery.

1 comment:

Steve S said...

I hear ya!

One time I was meeting a coworker for the first time at a new job and the topic of me being gay came up (another coworker told him earlier). He said he was straight but had no problem with me doing him. My jaw just dropped, I didn't know how to respond. Get angry? It's my first day on a new job, you know? I didn't want to rock any boats.
And the cars that cruise you, and you're comforted and perturbed at the same time...I know exactly what you're talking about.

I decided to focus on the comfort part, even though there was no way I would take them up on the offer. Believe me, when you get a certain age, the cars cruising by no longer slow down. Enjoy the comfort now. :-)