There isn't much of anything terribly interesting happening in my life right now. I recently turned 31, having noticed that the adages about time passing more quickly as you get older and how birthdays just don't hold a lot of significance anymore when you get a lot of them under your belt, woohoo I guess. Not that I mind getting older. It has it's gifts as well as it's down-side. The three decades I've spent on this earth have helped me grow, mellowed me out and given me a deeper sense of what really matters. I just hope that I can maintain the grace to keep on growing throughout my life and not be some crusty old bastard who thinks he knows everything and is immune to new ideas in his old age.
I love the Forester but am still acclimating to the way it drives. Handles well like the Impreza but the transmission is geared differently and there isn't as much play in the gears. The Impreza's gearing was spaced a pretty evenly. Every upshift ensured that it would bring the tachometer down 500 rpm. The Forester seems to have random/odd spacing. 1st to 2nd brings it down 500, 2nd to 3rd brings it down 700, 3rd to 4th brings it down 800, 4th to 5th brings it down 1,000.
Life has tossed me another lesson about learning when it is appropriate to keep trying and when one's effort is wasted and it would be better to pack it in and move on to more fruitful pursuits. In short, I've given up on the idea of fixing my house up and reconditioning it. It just needs way too much major work to be worth it and I am sick of living in a hovel which is badly designed and highly inefficient, always having something breaking down. My intention at this point is to live in it and keep it functioning as a home for a couple years or so while I amass money and resources, then I will completely rebuild it from the ground up, including the pouring of a proper floating slab for it to rest on. I am thankful for what I have currently but I don't perceive that this place will meet my needs indefinitely in it's current state. I have a rough draft for a new home design in my head but have yet to put it down on paper. Maybe I'll post it when I get it worked out.
Regardless of having given up on the house refurbishing I don't intend to sell or give up my location as one really can't ask for a better place: on a dead-end road yet close to the main road, babbling brooks on the property, babbling creek nearby, facing south, lots of space, huge conservation easement surrounding my property, central to 3 major towns without being close enough for urban life to disrupt the rural microcosm, clean ground water, decent neighbors, abundant wildlife and mature fruit trees. One really can't complain about having such treasures.
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Tuesday, February 09, 2010
The Divine Quest For A Better Walrus-Flavored Panopticon...
...is apropos of nothing but I thought it amusing and had a compulsive need to use it as the title of this post. There is nothing terribly deep to share right now, just a general life update.
Winter has been wearing on my nerves but it won't be around for much longer. I noticed that my metabolism is slowing down a bit and my 32-waist jeans were getting tight. So I resurrected my exercise regimen: lifting weights and a lot of late-night hikes with Pepper. My jeans fit again, might even go down an inch or two within a month, already feeling better, more positive and more energetic but whenever I am pushing myself hard and gaining muscle/strength, I start coming down with random insomnia. Have lost count of the amount of times I find myself bumbling around the house at 3 a.m. busy but not accomplishing much. Maybe it is the blood-flow to the brain? My head is flooded with ideas for my home/property in the coming warm-weather months.
I'll be using part of my tax return to purchase a sawmill conversion kit for my chainsaw so that I can put some of the large yellow pines on my property to use as lumber for fixing up my home. This will be the year when I wade right into the thick of hardcore demolition on the interior and remodeling. The most tedious part will be in jacking up the back half of it, slowly, carefully so as not to damage the building or have it come apart at the joints where the additions are attached, I'll be needing to purchase several more large bottle jacks to serve in this effort. Maybe easier said than done. While tearing crumbling, old drywall off the back wall of the living room a few months ago I found out that this place actually used to be two separate cabins which had the living room built as a connecting part between the two, having found remnants of exterior tar shingles underneath the drywall. Good Lord, this place was built by crazy people (no, really... there is back-story told by locals to support this). Aside from that I am harvesting as much firewood as possible right now so that I don't have to mess around with it during summer, when I plan on being busy with gardening and home-building concerns.
After several years of self-imposed isolation I'm gradually slipping back into the dating pool. As rough as the last relationship was, it made me stronger, more secure in who I am and I feel like I learned definitively what is and is not right for my life. The last few years have helped me to clear my head and develop a better direction for my life. I've done a lot of self-examination and cut out a lot of what was not good for me or those around me. For those of you not in the know about such things, it's a bit difficult for a gay guy like me to meet others of the same ilk in an area like this but regardless, there seem to be a few seemingly nice, available gents and mutual interest from some of them. We'll see where this leads. Whichever way I go, I'm taking it slow and not diving into anything too quick.
Winter has been wearing on my nerves but it won't be around for much longer. I noticed that my metabolism is slowing down a bit and my 32-waist jeans were getting tight. So I resurrected my exercise regimen: lifting weights and a lot of late-night hikes with Pepper. My jeans fit again, might even go down an inch or two within a month, already feeling better, more positive and more energetic but whenever I am pushing myself hard and gaining muscle/strength, I start coming down with random insomnia. Have lost count of the amount of times I find myself bumbling around the house at 3 a.m. busy but not accomplishing much. Maybe it is the blood-flow to the brain? My head is flooded with ideas for my home/property in the coming warm-weather months.
I'll be using part of my tax return to purchase a sawmill conversion kit for my chainsaw so that I can put some of the large yellow pines on my property to use as lumber for fixing up my home. This will be the year when I wade right into the thick of hardcore demolition on the interior and remodeling. The most tedious part will be in jacking up the back half of it, slowly, carefully so as not to damage the building or have it come apart at the joints where the additions are attached, I'll be needing to purchase several more large bottle jacks to serve in this effort. Maybe easier said than done. While tearing crumbling, old drywall off the back wall of the living room a few months ago I found out that this place actually used to be two separate cabins which had the living room built as a connecting part between the two, having found remnants of exterior tar shingles underneath the drywall. Good Lord, this place was built by crazy people (no, really... there is back-story told by locals to support this). Aside from that I am harvesting as much firewood as possible right now so that I don't have to mess around with it during summer, when I plan on being busy with gardening and home-building concerns.
After several years of self-imposed isolation I'm gradually slipping back into the dating pool. As rough as the last relationship was, it made me stronger, more secure in who I am and I feel like I learned definitively what is and is not right for my life. The last few years have helped me to clear my head and develop a better direction for my life. I've done a lot of self-examination and cut out a lot of what was not good for me or those around me. For those of you not in the know about such things, it's a bit difficult for a gay guy like me to meet others of the same ilk in an area like this but regardless, there seem to be a few seemingly nice, available gents and mutual interest from some of them. We'll see where this leads. Whichever way I go, I'm taking it slow and not diving into anything too quick.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Putting Down Roots
It has been a little while since I last posted here. My world has been busy. Springtime has brought mud season... many days of standing outside in knee-high "sh*t-kicker" boots .... rooting around with a shovel, trying to muck out ditches which have long since been filled in with silt; working a large chainsaw to fell more trees and make next year's firewood while clearing land for gardening (and hopefully making it less likely that said trees will fall on my house). Did I mention that the power lines to my house no longer consist of separate leads with some sections of bare copper threating to start a fire if the 3" gap between them were ever bridged? Many thanks to one of my roommates (a former lineman) who helped to make this possible.
Some of my friends haven't heard from me for months. I hope they don't think I've forgotten about them. May they understand that I am busy building something for myself and others. It is where I find the most peace.
Some days I stumble around the yard, dragging brush and thinking about the past as I pile it up, piling up the past and putting it away again in the back of my mind. I go for long walks in the woods with my dog, trying to draw a line from there to here. Heh, it's been a wild ride. I didn't even realize it, but I'm standing taller and putting down roots. In the middle of rough times, a long-time dream happened simply by yielding to the gentler path and learning how to put the Ego back in His cage (Ok, so he still reaches out from between the bars and takes swipes at others, I'm not perfect).
My late ex doesn't pop into my head much anymore. He is still there, sometimes smiling and laughing (those are my favorite memories of him), sometimes I see him being angry, hurtful and vindictive. Sometimes I see myself being angry, hurtful and vindictive. Sometimes when I am wandering off the trail and my mind is blank, I look up and see him and/or other people from my past, standing there and looking happy, sometimes showing me where to go. I feel like I could reach out and touch them, but they disappear as fast as they came. The human mind is a strange thing. I wish I understood mine more.
These experiences all came from somewhere, went somewhere, are currently going somewhere. Worrying excessively about the future and replaying the dark parts of the past is counterproductive though it seems like human nature to do so. Still trying to keep the past in perspective, examine it, learn from it, put it away and let it build a solid foundation for what is to come. Easier said than done sometimes.
Have I become calmer and wiser over the years? One likes to think so but is not yet fully convinced. I am now almost 30 and feel like it has been only a week since I was a teenager. Should I start planning to affect a mid-life crisis in a few more years so people don't think I am abnormal? No, I think it is sufficient to keep them convinced that I sit on a bit of controlled madness.
Some of my friends haven't heard from me for months. I hope they don't think I've forgotten about them. May they understand that I am busy building something for myself and others. It is where I find the most peace.
Some days I stumble around the yard, dragging brush and thinking about the past as I pile it up, piling up the past and putting it away again in the back of my mind. I go for long walks in the woods with my dog, trying to draw a line from there to here. Heh, it's been a wild ride. I didn't even realize it, but I'm standing taller and putting down roots. In the middle of rough times, a long-time dream happened simply by yielding to the gentler path and learning how to put the Ego back in His cage (Ok, so he still reaches out from between the bars and takes swipes at others, I'm not perfect).
My late ex doesn't pop into my head much anymore. He is still there, sometimes smiling and laughing (those are my favorite memories of him), sometimes I see him being angry, hurtful and vindictive. Sometimes I see myself being angry, hurtful and vindictive. Sometimes when I am wandering off the trail and my mind is blank, I look up and see him and/or other people from my past, standing there and looking happy, sometimes showing me where to go. I feel like I could reach out and touch them, but they disappear as fast as they came. The human mind is a strange thing. I wish I understood mine more.
These experiences all came from somewhere, went somewhere, are currently going somewhere. Worrying excessively about the future and replaying the dark parts of the past is counterproductive though it seems like human nature to do so. Still trying to keep the past in perspective, examine it, learn from it, put it away and let it build a solid foundation for what is to come. Easier said than done sometimes.
Have I become calmer and wiser over the years? One likes to think so but is not yet fully convinced. I am now almost 30 and feel like it has been only a week since I was a teenager. Should I start planning to affect a mid-life crisis in a few more years so people don't think I am abnormal? No, I think it is sufficient to keep them convinced that I sit on a bit of controlled madness.
Saturday, October 04, 2008
Blogging Frustration!
I love writing.
I like the connection that it gives from me to you, the reader.
I enjoy the fact that this medium is far more cohesive than the words which come out of my mouth because I can proofread it and ruminate over it several times before posting.
But life keeps me from doing it on a regular basis.... I promise to post pictures of this and that, I promise to write more in-depth about this and that.... and end up completely forgetting or procrastinating. I send thoughts and initiatives out into the open and they wander around aimlessly, waiting for me to rope them and ride them to somewhere, but then the the dog has to go out. The phone line is so polluted with static that my internet connection randomly drops and sometimes cannot reconnect for the better part of an hour (I will be overjoyed when high-speed wireless internet is available in rural areas like mine). There are countless things around the house and property which need fixing and/or cleaning. Friends visit from out of town. Loved ones call in need of my abilities. I have to work full time and keep the bills paid while keeping my highly-energetic puppy entertained & exercised so he feels loved and will not fall prey to the mental afflictions which highly social animals are subject to when they are neglected.
I NEED TO BRING ALL IT INTO BALANCE!!! I don't mind the responsibility of it all. It feels great to be using more of myself than ever before, it helps me to grow; but there has NEVER been a time in my life when there was so much to do! It is critical that I learn how to juggle all this more gracefully so that I do not burn out.
My sincere thanks goes out to all those who keep up with my life here and I apologize that I can't visit with you more often. All good things in time. I will figure it out ;-)
I like the connection that it gives from me to you, the reader.
I enjoy the fact that this medium is far more cohesive than the words which come out of my mouth because I can proofread it and ruminate over it several times before posting.
But life keeps me from doing it on a regular basis.... I promise to post pictures of this and that, I promise to write more in-depth about this and that.... and end up completely forgetting or procrastinating. I send thoughts and initiatives out into the open and they wander around aimlessly, waiting for me to rope them and ride them to somewhere, but then the the dog has to go out. The phone line is so polluted with static that my internet connection randomly drops and sometimes cannot reconnect for the better part of an hour (I will be overjoyed when high-speed wireless internet is available in rural areas like mine). There are countless things around the house and property which need fixing and/or cleaning. Friends visit from out of town. Loved ones call in need of my abilities. I have to work full time and keep the bills paid while keeping my highly-energetic puppy entertained & exercised so he feels loved and will not fall prey to the mental afflictions which highly social animals are subject to when they are neglected.
I NEED TO BRING ALL IT INTO BALANCE!!! I don't mind the responsibility of it all. It feels great to be using more of myself than ever before, it helps me to grow; but there has NEVER been a time in my life when there was so much to do! It is critical that I learn how to juggle all this more gracefully so that I do not burn out.
My sincere thanks goes out to all those who keep up with my life here and I apologize that I can't visit with you more often. All good things in time. I will figure it out ;-)
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Essay
The essay I mentioned in this previous post has finally gone online at http://www.beyondexgay.com, and can be viewed by following this link. For those of you who may not know what this is about, it is a narrative detailing the hardships and struggles I have been through as a result of the "Ex-Gay" movement as well as addressing the misinformation that this religious/political initiative has fed to some of my loved ones. I won't lie, it is a long read and some of it is depressing, much of it may also be edifying if you are seeking to learn more about the "Ex-gay" school of thought. I will return and post more afterthoughts concerning this at a later time.
I am currently between permanent living spaces and relying on local coffee shops with wireless internet access. The dial-up at my parents' home is so painfully slow that it takes me ten minutes just to access my e-mail, so long delays in response time and blog postings are to be expected until I am settled again.
I am currently between permanent living spaces and relying on local coffee shops with wireless internet access. The dial-up at my parents' home is so painfully slow that it takes me ten minutes just to access my e-mail, so long delays in response time and blog postings are to be expected until I am settled again.
Saturday, January 06, 2007
Jonesing
I've had a heck of a green thumb since I was only 4 years old. There is something about digging in the dirt and growing your own food which I find very relaxing and fulfilling. It has been over 2 years since I abandoned all my outdoor gardening projects due to neighbors who will not control their children and keep them from trampling my plots and ripping the plants up. So far I've been perfectly OK with this, dreaming that some day I will have a huge garden again when I own my own land and am able to erect a barrier fence around it should the need arise. Now all those blasted seed catalogs start arriving in the mail. I don't have the heart to throw them away, but I also avoid them because I know what it will do to me if I even take one little peek... and yesterday it happened. My compulsive side opened to a listing of heirloom-variety tomatoes and I found myself fighting the urge to unpack the gardening tools in the basement. Deep breaths, deep breaths, must be smart about this and wait.... :-)
Sunday, December 31, 2006
Head In The Clouds, Reading
So, I've been back to work since yesterday... and as you may know from the last post, I've been sick since Christmas Eve... it's been crazy. The non-drowsy meds just don't work for me and I have weird chemical sensitivities... which basically means that any medicine which says in the fine print that one should not operate heavy machinery while using it.... usually will send me for a heck of a loop in which I feel like a just drank a fifth of Jim Beam and my head is a hot air balloon floating around.... viewing the world through a long paper towel tube... you know, that weird almost visceral feeling like you know you're there, interacting with people and doing things, but you feel like you are watching it on film instead of actually experiencing it. While some people partake of certain substances to attain this feeling on purpose, I generally don't enjoy it. On the positive side, this was a very busy, productive day at work and it was the first day that I've not had to take anything for my symptoms. Considering that other people I know have been down flat for more than a week with this bug, I got off lucky with just a few days. Chock it up to a cast iron immune system :-) I almost made it the entire year without calling in sick to work.
I've just finished reading White Oleander by Janet Fitch and it was an incredible read all the way through. I would highly recommend it. I am currently delving into The Deep Well Tapes, a book on Archetypal Dreamwork (which seems to be based in Archetypal Psychology), authored by my own Uncle, Marc Bregman. In truth, I am not certain what to think of it yet. There is some of it that I do not understand, but some the points that he is bringing forth in the beginning of the book... are starting to make perfect sense to me as one who was raised in a literalistic, somewhat fundamentalist, closed-minded and reactionary form of Christianity, yet secretly held a mystic's point of view on the entire religion, as well as the way that it applies to humankind. Another interesting point is that many of the philosophies that he puts forth seem to align with a majority of the tenets of Quakerism (for those of you who don't know, I've been attending regular meetings at various Quaker meeting houses for the past few months). It would be entirely arrogant and premature to say that I have even a loose grasp on any of this yet, but we will see how things go in the next year or so. I have clawed as far as I can go under the old mindset and it is necessary for me to change and grow...
Which brings me to a minor point of order in my life... several times in the past year, I have felt a strong compulsion to go back and edit this blog, to remove past content or statements that I have made in moments of strong emotion, to gloss over my own reactive nature. But every time I felt this compulsion, I resisted... why? Editing history is the hallmark of fascist regimes and those who are controlled by their fear of the ghosts of what was. And because I have come to realize that it is better to own up to the past, how one has acted in the past, and it is necessary to preserve the past as it was so that one may see clearly how they were in order to work on what they are to be.
I've just finished reading White Oleander by Janet Fitch and it was an incredible read all the way through. I would highly recommend it. I am currently delving into The Deep Well Tapes, a book on Archetypal Dreamwork (which seems to be based in Archetypal Psychology), authored by my own Uncle, Marc Bregman. In truth, I am not certain what to think of it yet. There is some of it that I do not understand, but some the points that he is bringing forth in the beginning of the book... are starting to make perfect sense to me as one who was raised in a literalistic, somewhat fundamentalist, closed-minded and reactionary form of Christianity, yet secretly held a mystic's point of view on the entire religion, as well as the way that it applies to humankind. Another interesting point is that many of the philosophies that he puts forth seem to align with a majority of the tenets of Quakerism (for those of you who don't know, I've been attending regular meetings at various Quaker meeting houses for the past few months). It would be entirely arrogant and premature to say that I have even a loose grasp on any of this yet, but we will see how things go in the next year or so. I have clawed as far as I can go under the old mindset and it is necessary for me to change and grow...
Which brings me to a minor point of order in my life... several times in the past year, I have felt a strong compulsion to go back and edit this blog, to remove past content or statements that I have made in moments of strong emotion, to gloss over my own reactive nature. But every time I felt this compulsion, I resisted... why? Editing history is the hallmark of fascist regimes and those who are controlled by their fear of the ghosts of what was. And because I have come to realize that it is better to own up to the past, how one has acted in the past, and it is necessary to preserve the past as it was so that one may see clearly how they were in order to work on what they are to be.
Friday, December 22, 2006
I'm Dreaming of A..
Christmas dominated by various shades of earthy brown and pine green. I was hoping for white. As almost everyone living in New England right now will attest to, the weather is currently freakishly warm for this time of year. The most snow we've gotten has been an inch or two, but it didn't stick around for long. For the last two weeks, the daytime temps have been in the high 40s to mid 50s. I've been on a lot of hikes in the hills lately and have only needed a light jacket for most of them. On the upside, this means that it will likely be a gentle winter for the wildlife and they will be reproducing heavily in the springtime, but on the downside this means that ticks and fleas will also multiply like jackrabbits and next season will be atrocious for said wildlife and those whose animals go outdoors. (at least my cats are kept indoors). On top of that, Lyme disease is becoming more and more prevalent in my area, so I have to slather myself in this nasty DEET-laden chemical concoction whenever I go for one of my wanderings in the warmer months.
My little brother is up in my area visiting for the season and he has been crashing at my place. He lives out in the midwest and I rarely get to see him, so it is nice to be able to spend quality time. We used to fight like cats and dogs when we were younger and I didn't typically get along with (or care for the company of) most of his friends, but things change. Now that we've all got a few years of life experience under our belts we have learned how to interact while not to pressing each others' buttons.
In other news my buddy Dan invited me to go see Matt Besser doing a standup comedy act at UNH. The show was great, we had a good time, and I got to meet him and have my picture taken with him afterward. For the uninitiated, Matt played the character Adair on the comedy show Upright Citizen's Brigade which started as an improv comedy troupe of the same name. I love the show and I used to watch it religiously during my high school years.
The computer is back up and running, sort of hobbling along on a crutch, but at least it is useable for internet-surfing now. I likely won't get back to blogging until after Christmas... so MERRY CHRISTMAS to all of you!!!
My little brother is up in my area visiting for the season and he has been crashing at my place. He lives out in the midwest and I rarely get to see him, so it is nice to be able to spend quality time. We used to fight like cats and dogs when we were younger and I didn't typically get along with (or care for the company of) most of his friends, but things change. Now that we've all got a few years of life experience under our belts we have learned how to interact while not to pressing each others' buttons.
In other news my buddy Dan invited me to go see Matt Besser doing a standup comedy act at UNH. The show was great, we had a good time, and I got to meet him and have my picture taken with him afterward. For the uninitiated, Matt played the character Adair on the comedy show Upright Citizen's Brigade which started as an improv comedy troupe of the same name. I love the show and I used to watch it religiously during my high school years.
The computer is back up and running, sort of hobbling along on a crutch, but at least it is useable for internet-surfing now. I likely won't get back to blogging until after Christmas... so MERRY CHRISTMAS to all of you!!!
Friday, November 03, 2006
Lily-White Marzipan Armpit Cream
Oooooh, another pointless title that has nothing to do with this post... surprise surprise (or not, if you are a frequent reader of this blog).
Tonight I went on a dinner date with a gentleman by the name of James, who I met at my party a couple weeks ago. We went to Mai Thai, a great thai restaurant on the main downtown strip in Hanover, NH. After that, we went to see The Departed at The Nugget Theater. All in all, a lovely evening.
In other news, I spent this past weekend up in northwest VT with my sister and grandmother where we had an early celebration of my birthday (that's right folks, I'm now 27, time to break out the metamucil and the walker). I ended up receiving many lovely gifts, including a sharp set of clothes from my sister and grandmother, a DVD recorder/vcr combo from my parents, and a dremel tool just arrived in the mail from my little brother. I don't believe I've ever gotten so many useful and much-needed gifts on a single birthday. What a blessing!!!
One of the more unusual gifts I've received in recent times. We have a bit of a long-running family joke concerning smoked salmon sandwiches.
The back yard at my grandmother's place, gardens winding down to sleep for the winter.
My sister & grandmother's cat, Miss Jane, aka: Jane Doe Kitty, Madame Pickulus.
I have a slightly odd fascination with knick-knacks and colored glass items sitting in windows, which I believe comes from having seen so many scenes like this in my grandmother's house.
A lovely view of Camel's Hump mountain on the stretch of interstate just below Burlington, VT.
Halloween spirit at my workplace
Hmmm... and a couple of humorous time-wasters that I would recommend: A twistedly funny ICQ prank perpetrated by Richard "Lowtax" Kyanka of somethingawful.com, and yet another flash offering from Fat-Pie entitled: Video Dating Tape. Fair warning: this animation is not for those without a dark, twisted sense of humor. If you watch it and laugh raucously like I did, it will likely mean that you need psychiatric intervention, however viewing this film may be the cause of needing psychiatric intervention whether or not you find it funny.
Tonight I went on a dinner date with a gentleman by the name of James, who I met at my party a couple weeks ago. We went to Mai Thai, a great thai restaurant on the main downtown strip in Hanover, NH. After that, we went to see The Departed at The Nugget Theater. All in all, a lovely evening.
In other news, I spent this past weekend up in northwest VT with my sister and grandmother where we had an early celebration of my birthday (that's right folks, I'm now 27, time to break out the metamucil and the walker). I ended up receiving many lovely gifts, including a sharp set of clothes from my sister and grandmother, a DVD recorder/vcr combo from my parents, and a dremel tool just arrived in the mail from my little brother. I don't believe I've ever gotten so many useful and much-needed gifts on a single birthday. What a blessing!!!
One of the more unusual gifts I've received in recent times. We have a bit of a long-running family joke concerning smoked salmon sandwiches.
The back yard at my grandmother's place, gardens winding down to sleep for the winter.
My sister & grandmother's cat, Miss Jane, aka: Jane Doe Kitty, Madame Pickulus.
I have a slightly odd fascination with knick-knacks and colored glass items sitting in windows, which I believe comes from having seen so many scenes like this in my grandmother's house.
A lovely view of Camel's Hump mountain on the stretch of interstate just below Burlington, VT.
Halloween spirit at my workplace
Hmmm... and a couple of humorous time-wasters that I would recommend: A twistedly funny ICQ prank perpetrated by Richard "Lowtax" Kyanka of somethingawful.com, and yet another flash offering from Fat-Pie entitled: Video Dating Tape. Fair warning: this animation is not for those without a dark, twisted sense of humor. If you watch it and laugh raucously like I did, it will likely mean that you need psychiatric intervention, however viewing this film may be the cause of needing psychiatric intervention whether or not you find it funny.
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
Surprise Surprise!!!
Yeah, I'm actually still alive. I know I've not written in a while. Sorry about that. Life has been very busy yet fulfilling. The other day we had a very strong autumn rain storm which removed almost all of the colored foliage from the trees. Now we are entering my least-favorite time of year, that bastard sub-season between fall and winter; when there are no more leaves on the trees, it is too cold outdoors to casually relax & enjoy oneself, everything looks drab & dead, and there is no snow to pretty things up. Last year's snowfall was a bit disappointing. At the time, I had received snowshoes for Christmas and bought myself cross-country skis in hopes that they would give me a reason not to stay cooped up indoors all winter, bouncing off the walls with a killer case of cabin fever... yet there was never more than six inches of snow on the ground (for those of you not familiar with cross-country skiing, one needs AT LEAST 9-12 inches of snow on the ground in order to minimize damage to the underside of the skis). I am hoping for a solid couple feet of snow this year so that I can do some deep-woods cross-country skiing and snowshoeing.
My "autumn foliage" party was loads of fun. It has been a while since I've had any sort of real social gathering at my home. One of my coworkers has shown me some blackmail-worthy pics of myself and many of the others there (yeah, we all had a bit to drink). I may or may not post them depending on how brave I am feeling. There was a pretty good turnout of people and a good time was had by all (who were invited)... and here is where I have a bit of a story to tell. In the wee hours of the morning, there were still about eight guests hanging around. Somebody showed up uninvited while I had nodded off in the living room. He helped himself to some of my liquors and got really drunk, belligerent, & violent. One of my friends (who had training in the management of aggressive behavior) ended up tackling the guy and dragging him kicking & flailing out of my house. The guy refused to leave even after he was barred from going back inside, fighting ensued, and the man ended up in the hospital the next day with a concussion. This is by far one of the craziest things that has ever happened at one of my parties. I am grateful that he was removed though because I don't take kindly to drunken fools destroying my property and causing a scene. Although I will say that the guy had the strength of character to apologize to the people who were involved in his removal and subsequent smack-down.
Now here is where I admit that I have an addiction problem: I broke a solemn promise to myself.... Last year I finally caved in and started reading the series of Harry Potter books that everyone has been raving about. I enjoyed them so much that I ended up reading all six books in just under two months. My head was spinning... I couldn't help it... they're like brain-candy. After I finished the sixth book, I resolved that I would not touch the series again until a month before the seventh (and ostensibly final???) book came out. Well, I had a moment of weakness at the beginning of this month... I just couldn't keep my hand from straying up to the bookshelf.... and here I am again, already three quarters of the way through the fourth book. They must have support groups for this sort of thing (haha). I've decided that I am going to take a break after this book and pursue something a bit pithier... The Poisonwood Bible , a controversial best-seller by one of my new favorite authors, Barbara Kingsolver. My dear sister and several friends have recommended it as a bit of an eye-opener.
As usual, I'm a bit awkward at ending my posts. Somebody once told me to always end on a positive note. So for now I will leave you with a video of "Cheech," a long-haired chihuahua at my workplace doing his "walk like a man" thingy.... and may I mention that I am NOT a small-dog person, but he's still pretty cute.
My "autumn foliage" party was loads of fun. It has been a while since I've had any sort of real social gathering at my home. One of my coworkers has shown me some blackmail-worthy pics of myself and many of the others there (yeah, we all had a bit to drink). I may or may not post them depending on how brave I am feeling. There was a pretty good turnout of people and a good time was had by all (who were invited)... and here is where I have a bit of a story to tell. In the wee hours of the morning, there were still about eight guests hanging around. Somebody showed up uninvited while I had nodded off in the living room. He helped himself to some of my liquors and got really drunk, belligerent, & violent. One of my friends (who had training in the management of aggressive behavior) ended up tackling the guy and dragging him kicking & flailing out of my house. The guy refused to leave even after he was barred from going back inside, fighting ensued, and the man ended up in the hospital the next day with a concussion. This is by far one of the craziest things that has ever happened at one of my parties. I am grateful that he was removed though because I don't take kindly to drunken fools destroying my property and causing a scene. Although I will say that the guy had the strength of character to apologize to the people who were involved in his removal and subsequent smack-down.
Now here is where I admit that I have an addiction problem: I broke a solemn promise to myself.... Last year I finally caved in and started reading the series of Harry Potter books that everyone has been raving about. I enjoyed them so much that I ended up reading all six books in just under two months. My head was spinning... I couldn't help it... they're like brain-candy. After I finished the sixth book, I resolved that I would not touch the series again until a month before the seventh (and ostensibly final???) book came out. Well, I had a moment of weakness at the beginning of this month... I just couldn't keep my hand from straying up to the bookshelf.... and here I am again, already three quarters of the way through the fourth book. They must have support groups for this sort of thing (haha). I've decided that I am going to take a break after this book and pursue something a bit pithier... The Poisonwood Bible , a controversial best-seller by one of my new favorite authors, Barbara Kingsolver. My dear sister and several friends have recommended it as a bit of an eye-opener.
As usual, I'm a bit awkward at ending my posts. Somebody once told me to always end on a positive note. So for now I will leave you with a video of "Cheech," a long-haired chihuahua at my workplace doing his "walk like a man" thingy.... and may I mention that I am NOT a small-dog person, but he's still pretty cute.
Thursday, October 12, 2006
The Hike of Found Objects
Well, after a day of discount store shopping with my buddy Pasha, I ended up going on another loner hike into the mountains just as the sun was setting (my buddy Dimitri was going to go with me, but bailed out). I used to be terrified of the woods at night-time, now it seems to relax me while honing my listening skills. Chalk it up to personal growth and conquering of fears I guess.
St. Anthony of Padua, eat your heart out... During this hike, I found a small assortment of useful objects that had either been lost or discarded. I ran across the manky (but solid) old wrench you see in the picture... buried, but partially emergent in the mud. I've a manky toolbox that will match it perfectly! Next I ran across my harmonica which I had dropped on a previous jaunt; I was impressed to see that it had survived the last few rains just swimmingly, no water entered the case and tarnished/mildewed it. I was also delighted that it survived that long in the middle of the trail, with ATVs and assorted harsh weather passing over it multiple times a day for two weeks on end. Finally, when I was coming back down to the mountain road that connects with the main road, there were a bunch of free items piled on the corner of the intersection, where I found an awesome vintage (70s?) cooler. Maybe I am a weird person because I get excited over things like vintage coolers, but just a couple days ago I was thinking that I should buy myself a big cooler for the dinner party this weekend. I will simply call this divine provenance :). So, after lugging it 3 miles back to town, turning down a couple offers of rides from some friendly (but heavily inebriated) hunters tooling back home in their trucks, and receiving numerous odd cat-calls from several teenager-filled cars speeding by... I got home. Yeah sorry, that's a lame conclusion to a story, so deal. :)
St. Anthony of Padua, eat your heart out... During this hike, I found a small assortment of useful objects that had either been lost or discarded. I ran across the manky (but solid) old wrench you see in the picture... buried, but partially emergent in the mud. I've a manky toolbox that will match it perfectly! Next I ran across my harmonica which I had dropped on a previous jaunt; I was impressed to see that it had survived the last few rains just swimmingly, no water entered the case and tarnished/mildewed it. I was also delighted that it survived that long in the middle of the trail, with ATVs and assorted harsh weather passing over it multiple times a day for two weeks on end. Finally, when I was coming back down to the mountain road that connects with the main road, there were a bunch of free items piled on the corner of the intersection, where I found an awesome vintage (70s?) cooler. Maybe I am a weird person because I get excited over things like vintage coolers, but just a couple days ago I was thinking that I should buy myself a big cooler for the dinner party this weekend. I will simply call this divine provenance :). So, after lugging it 3 miles back to town, turning down a couple offers of rides from some friendly (but heavily inebriated) hunters tooling back home in their trucks, and receiving numerous odd cat-calls from several teenager-filled cars speeding by... I got home. Yeah sorry, that's a lame conclusion to a story, so deal. :)
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
The Throbblefoot Spectre
Due to temporary absence of creativity, yet another lack of pertinent title...
This past Sunday, for the second time, I attended a Quaker meeting at the Putney Friends' Meeting House. Even though I am just a silent spectator for the time being, I am really enjoying the structure (or lack of traditional church structure) at the meetings. A woman sitting close to me stood up and read a passage from a book which expounded on allowing yourself to be flawed, natural, and not have to put up a facade of perfection. The passage spoke of how we were created with our flaws for a reason. It is what makes us human, unique, and more able to give of ourselves. It really spoke to me on a deep level because as of lately I have been striving to live a more straightforward, authentic life. This has included admitting and accepting my flaws. This is not to say that one can't work on improving them, but truth be told I've been holding myself to a borderline impossible standard for years now and it has cost me a lot.
For a long time I have been walking through life trying hard to be precisely what American culture dictates we should be: strong, composed 100% of the time, intelligent, intense, passionate, and perfect in every way. Why is it so wrong to show your weaknesses? We walk around with this heir of false dignity, worrying about what everyone else thinks of us, losing ourselves in complexity (hiding from stigma), while we ignore many of the essential building blocks for true happiness. All for the sake of what? Approval? Popularity? Do the ends justify the means in this case? What do we have to show for all of our social athletics after all is said and done?
I can honestly say that ever since I have started admitting my faults instead of pretending they aren't there, I have better learned to deal with them and simplify my life... things have become clearer and there is an existential richness that I have never experienced before. I am progressing, but I still have a lot of growing to do.
This past Sunday, for the second time, I attended a Quaker meeting at the Putney Friends' Meeting House. Even though I am just a silent spectator for the time being, I am really enjoying the structure (or lack of traditional church structure) at the meetings. A woman sitting close to me stood up and read a passage from a book which expounded on allowing yourself to be flawed, natural, and not have to put up a facade of perfection. The passage spoke of how we were created with our flaws for a reason. It is what makes us human, unique, and more able to give of ourselves. It really spoke to me on a deep level because as of lately I have been striving to live a more straightforward, authentic life. This has included admitting and accepting my flaws. This is not to say that one can't work on improving them, but truth be told I've been holding myself to a borderline impossible standard for years now and it has cost me a lot.
For a long time I have been walking through life trying hard to be precisely what American culture dictates we should be: strong, composed 100% of the time, intelligent, intense, passionate, and perfect in every way. Why is it so wrong to show your weaknesses? We walk around with this heir of false dignity, worrying about what everyone else thinks of us, losing ourselves in complexity (hiding from stigma), while we ignore many of the essential building blocks for true happiness. All for the sake of what? Approval? Popularity? Do the ends justify the means in this case? What do we have to show for all of our social athletics after all is said and done?
I can honestly say that ever since I have started admitting my faults instead of pretending they aren't there, I have better learned to deal with them and simplify my life... things have become clearer and there is an existential richness that I have never experienced before. I am progressing, but I still have a lot of growing to do.
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