Woolman Hill Retreat

I am back from 'Beyond Queer 101: A Retreat for LGBTQ Quakers' down at the Woolman Hill Retreat Center in Deerfield, Massachusetts (see pics below). The retreat was a fruitful time of introspection, discussion, and an opportunity to make new friends. The facilitators had great energy and were very good at working with us as a group. The scenery was lovely as well. The retreat was good for me on many levels. I met some interesting, beautiful people and it was awesome to be able to share time and experiences with a group of LGBTQ folks who also share my spiritual values. I definitely feel like I walked away a better person than when I arrived.

During worship on Sunday, somebody spoke centered words of reassurance that we are not abandoned... it hit very hard and close to home. While there is much more significance to this, I am not going to press this topic. It is more than I care to write and it will be cleared up at a later time. There is much work for me to do on myself yet. The efforts put forth in the last year of my life have not been in vain, but every time I try to give control over to the creative, caring, passive parts of my person, they immediately get tackled and throttled into silence by my raging, aggressive ego who doesn't want to be vulnerable again, remembers every detail of the pain I've been through since my teen years and wants desperately to keep control over me, even if it means stunting my emotional and spiritual growth. The weekend has been good for me... the raging ego is still there, but it has a few degrees less control over me. I don't know what life is bringing me, I still hurt a lot and wrestle with feelings of abandonment by many of those whom I used to be closest to, but my vision isn't as foggy as it used to be and there is new insight working it's way in through the cracks. I'm still cleaning out my life, still a work in progress, always will be I suspect. I hear that the journey is the best part of getting there.

Some of the cabins at the retreat.

The meeting house at sunrise

The retreat center

The retreat center at sunrise

A funky-cool little yurt at the edge of a small woodland pond on the retreat grounds

Whoa, BACK OFF!!!

I'm packing up to head off to a retreat for LGBTQ Quakers this weekend. While I've been looking forward to meeting new people and having some spiritual and mental downtime for learning, sharing, and introspection, there is now a nasty bug going around my workplace and it is carrying pitchforks and torches, pounding on the front door of my immune system. On top of that, I tweaked out my back when I took a bad spill on my before-work hike the other day. I've been giving myself plenty of rest and have been blasting my body with ibuprofen, ginger, echinacea, goldenseal, garlic, and heavily curried dishes in hopes of keeping myself healthy and ready to go away this weekend. The bug now seems to be retreating back into the wild and my back is feeling a bit better. Here's hoping I keep a sound constitution for the weekend and beyond.

I apologize for not blogging more, I have been very busy with spring cleaning and computer repair projects for friends & family. I am also enjoying my new-to-me laptop as well as the enhanced lazy bum capabilities that it brings. Now I can idly surf the internet from any lounging spot in my entire household.

The rains have come and gone, and come again. The snow is completely gone in the low-lying areas around here, the corn field behind my house became a lake for a while, just like last year. Seasons changing, a lot on my mind, much to write about if I can keep my thoughts clear enough to put it all down. I am currently reading the non-fiction novel Tuesdays With Morrie by Mitch Albom, recommended by quite a few friends & acquaintances as of lately and oh, what a beautiful story it is. Having been employed with a medical staffing agency and working as a LNA in various health care institutions, I have witnessed a lot of death and various stages of dying so I heavily identify with the author's unique perspective on end-of-life issues. Still, this book has taught me much despite all my experience. I wish I had read it six years ago. Then again, six years ago I might not have had the mental framework to appreciate the book or learn from it.

Well, I need to go finish some housework & packing. I have a bunch of random ideas and pictures which I'd like to chop into my next few posts when I get back.